The things we do for researchI tried to read this book against Jessica Valenti s advice and my own better judgment as part of a research project Alas, it s unbearable Shalit has created the worst kind of propaganda a book that actively misinterprets its source material to shore up a regressive message And then dresses said regressive message up as empowerment In the bits I managed to power through, Shalit took issue with everything from the ahistoricism of Pleasantville to the bitch The things we do for researchI tried to read this book against Jessica Valenti s advice and my own better judgment as part of a research project Alas, it s unbearable Shalit has created the worst kind of propaganda a book that actively misinterprets its source material to shore up a regressive message And then dresses said regressive message up as empowerment In the bits I managed to power through, Shalit took issue with everything from the ahistoricism of Pleasantville to the bitch mentality promoted in the Dixie Chicks song Not Ready to Make Nice Now, for the record, the characters of Pleasantville travel into a spot on 50s TV show not the 50s proper and the Dixie Chicks released Not Ready to Make Nice in the wake of endless boycotts, CD burnings, and death threats But context is clearly irrelevant to Shalit She further misrepresents the work of numerous reputable sex educators Heather Corinna, Cory Silverburg, and the entirety of Planned Parenthood, for starters replacing their good advice with heterosexist, sexist, drivel based on anecdotal evidence and her abstinence only agenda Plenty of studies have used valid measures to disprove her thesis that we ve made sluttiness socially acceptable, and thus girls are unhappy, so we all need to bake pies and wait out marriage , but since Shalit stuck with hearsay, I ll respond in kind As a 20 something lady from the generation in question, trudging through this book made me farunhappy than being sexual ever has Reader discretion advised According to Shalit you can be a bad girl and have non marital sex which will be horrible and you will immediately regret afterwards be scarred for life or you can be a good girl and wait til marriage The world is not so black and white. It seems weird to say this, but this was a fun read Shalit s wry sense of humor pops up in unexpected ways such as when she suddenly takes off on a reverie about KUGEL parties as an alternative to NYC s sex saturated CAKE parties There are stories of girls and women who are going against the grain of low standards and sex sells and this leavens the overall depressing news that the book reports about our current cultural environment in all its darkness and vapidity.Generationally speaki It seems weird to say this, but this was a fun read Shalit s wry sense of humor pops up in unexpected ways such as when she suddenly takes off on a reverie about KUGEL parties as an alternative to NYC s sex saturated CAKE parties There are stories of girls and women who are going against the grain of low standards and sex sells and this leavens the overall depressing news that the book reports about our current cultural environment in all its darkness and vapidity.Generationally speaking, I m somewhere in the middle of the women discussed in this book I have two young daughters, and my parents were Baby Boomers I experienced some of the pressure to be bad as a girl, and especially when I got to college all the pressure to be comfortable with my body which meant letting other people intrude on your personal space, as near as I could tell But what I experienced was less intense than what is currently acceptable And after all in the 1990s when I was a teen, dumpy jeans, logger shirts, and boots were the style, so if you wanted to keep yourself covered up there was at least a way to do so without stigma Wearing a shirt with a vulgar sexual message would have still marked you as One of Those Girls not a good thing But on the other hand, we got bombed with massive TMI in sex ed class, and when my mother protested that maybe at 12 years of age I didn t need to know all about oral, we were blacklisted as that weird prudish Christian family, even though my mom was and is an agnostic, and there was a general attitude that only repressed people cared about having strict personal boundaries.As a mother I am doing my best to keep my girls protected from this vulture like hypersexualized culture, and it s amazing how early you have to start the constant vigilance Reading this book made me feel really good about my decision to homeschool, as I believe that the toxic social environment in many schools is the single biggest threat to girls intellectual and professional achievement I also felt validated in my disillusionment with the feminism of my contemporaries, and what s supposed to pass for empowerment these days I noticed a while back, for instance, that the feminist and women s issues section of the left wing webzine Salon.com consists mostly of fluff about celebrities and sexual trend stories about hooking up, porn, prostitution, etc And not hard hitting reporting, either, for instance about how porn reinforces negative images of women Just stuff like OMG porn is fun, wow breathless oohing over the fact that like, women can have sex too It has struck meandas juvenile and even backwards There s so muchto being a woman than having a body and having sex And there should be so muchto feminism than Vagina Monologues vapidity what would your vagina wear But any, that s what we re supposed to settle with Does anyone ever stop to wonder why This book was jaw dropping I had no idea how much sexuality is actually marketed to girls starting around age 4 The book talks about the Bratz dolls, toddler tees that say Sexy and Lust , and Limited Too selling rhinestoned thongs Wow This was an eye opening read that, seriously, every parent of a young daughter needs to read. At twenty three, Wendy Shalit punctured conventional wisdom with A Return to Modesty, arguing that our hope for true lasting love is not a problem to be fixed but rather a wonderful instinct that forms the basis for civilization Now, in Girls Gone Mild, the brilliantly outspoken author investigates an emerging new movement Despite nearly naked teen models posing seductively to sell us practically everything, and the proliferation of homemade sex tapes as star making vehicles, a youth led rebellion is already changing courseIn Seattle and Pittsburgh, teenage girls protest against companies that sell sleazy clothing Online, a nineteen year old describes her struggles with her mother, who she feels is pressuring her to lose her virginity In a small town outside Philadelphia, an eleventh grade girl, upset over a dirty book read aloud in English class, takes her case to the school board These are not your mother s rebelsIn an age where pornography is mainstream, teen clothing seems stripper patented, and experts recommend that we learn to be emotionally detached about sex, a key and callously targeted audience girls is fed up Drawing on numerous studies and interviews, Shalit makes the case that today s virulent bad girl mindset most truly oppresses young women Nowadays, as even the youngest teenage girls feel the pressure to become cold sex sirens, put their bodies on public display, and suppress their feelings in order to feel accepted and temporarily loved, many young women are realizing that friends with benefits are often anything but And as these girls speak for themselves, we see that what is expected of them turns out to be very different from what is in their own heartsShalit reveals how the media, one s peers, and even parents can undermine girls quests for their authentic selves, details the problems of sex without intimacy, and explains what it means to break from the herd mentality and choose integrity over popularity Written with sincerity and upbeat humor, Girls Gone Mild rescues the good girl from the realm of mythology and old manners guides to show that today s version is the real rebel She is not people pleasing or repressed she is simply reclaiming her individuality These empowering stories are sure to be an inspiration to teenagers and parents alike HmmmI really liked A Return To ModestyWendy Shalit s first book, but this one just didn t do it for me I felt like she could of left out most, if not all, of the descriptions about the current sexual revolutionshe didn t leave much to the imagination One would expect a book about about modesty to be written, in well, a modest manner Plus many of these behaviors, at least I feel, tend to ere on the extreme side of things and don t necessarily represent the norm I see what s on TV and HmmmI really liked A Return To ModestyWendy Shalit s first book, but this one just didn t do it for me I felt like she could of left out most, if not all, of the descriptions about the current sexual revolutionshe didn t leave much to the imagination One would expect a book about about modesty to be written, in well, a modest manner Plus many of these behaviors, at least I feel, tend to ere on the extreme side of things and don t necessarily represent the norm I see what s on TV and in the magazines and am very concerned with the messages that society is sending these girls, but I don t feel like I need a play by play Wendy s points are well made, but I had to sift through a whole lot of shmuck to find them I appreciated the few stories of girls that are choosing to go mild , I just wish there had beenof them And again, these stories ered on the extreme side too I mean reallyhow many 15 year olds do YOU know that tour the nation giving lectures on modesty There are many good things happening out there, enough to write a book on ironically enough, that illustrate the goodness in many of our young women Do I feel like they are waging an uphill battle Yesthe media is very powerful, and they the media know it The sad truth is that those who are mild in every sense of the word, don t now, never have, and never will get the coverage they deserve I can see the lies the media is serving our Nation, and find it sad that there aren tlike me, who recognize it, so that brings me to the last point of this review I think Wendy Shalit was writing thisfor the people who haven t seen the light if you will But most of these people would never pick this book up anyway, and if they did they would already be on the defensive side To bad, because they re the ones who need to hear it Wendy Shalit bugs me She points out a lot of things about the way women, especially young women, are viewed treated by society that suck, then accuses pretty much everyone who s not a born again Christian preaching abstinence of contributing to the problem Apparently, the only solution and, conveniently, the complete and final solution to any of this is for young women to just say no to sex until they find a nice, young man to marry.There are so many problems with this I don t even know Wendy Shalit bugs me She points out a lot of things about the way women, especially young women, are viewed treated by society that suck, then accuses pretty much everyone who s not a born again Christian preaching abstinence of contributing to the problem Apparently, the only solution and, conveniently, the complete and final solution to any of this is for young women to just say no to sex until they find a nice, young man to marry.There are so many problems with this I don t even know where to start Good lord Wendy Shalit is trying to make a valid point it is okay to be a good girl However, in order to prove she knows what the bad girls are up to and she is, therefore, authorized to make the case for choosing good, she details so many graphic and disgusting things that I just had to put this book down I was also a little disturbed that she gave little or no credit to religion as a means of instilling values Her premise seemed to be that some girls are just born with the desire to be chaste an Wendy Shalit is trying to make a valid point it is okay to be a good girl However, in order to prove she knows what the bad girls are up to and she is, therefore, authorized to make the case for choosing good, she details so many graphic and disgusting things that I just had to put this book down I was also a little disturbed that she gave little or no credit to religion as a means of instilling values Her premise seemed to be that some girls are just born with the desire to be chaste and modest, but others can t really be taught to be that way Overall, it is okay, in parts, but probably not worth wading through This book hit the nail on the head for me Shalit put into words exactly my thoughts on modesty and sexuality The book took me back ten years, to my high school days when a friend told me, Be free, while signaling with her hand for me to remove my hijab headscarf I remember telling her, This makes me free, and over the years I ve come to appreciate just how liberating modesty can be Shalit posits that female empowerment does not come from women partaking in meaningless, casual sex as me This book hit the nail on the head for me Shalit put into words exactly my thoughts on modesty and sexuality The book took me back ten years, to my high school days when a friend told me, Be free, while signaling with her hand for me to remove my hijab headscarf I remember telling her, This makes me free, and over the years I ve come to appreciate just how liberating modesty can be Shalit posits that female empowerment does not come from women partaking in meaningless, casual sex as men do nor is a woman being empowered by dressing or not dressing for that matter like an escort True empowerment comes from being comfortable in your skin without having to show it to the whole world And, like she says, just because a woman covers up or has the decency to keep her sex life private, it does not mean she is not comfortable with her sexuality, or that she is ashamed of her body In fact, the contrary is true She is so comfortable with her sexuality that she doesn t see the need to make it public business.I agree with Shalit that the sexual liberation these days is just as oppressive to women or even so as was the repressive pressures put on women in the past Girls feeling like they have to dress like prostitutes to get attention, dolls that promote sexuality in CHILDREN, these are pressures women doN T need There definitely is a double standard when it comes to male vs female sexuality But like Shalit says, instead of lowering women s standards to that of men s engaging in meaningless, casual relations while repressing emotion, dressing immodestly, etc , why not hold men to the same high standards of women expecting fidelity and monogamy, demanding respect, etc By dressing and acting modestly, a woman does JUST THAT.The only negative I had in this book was that Shalit failed to even recognize Muslim women in her book The hijab is worn for precisely the reasons she outlined in her book, and it would have been nice to see her include interviews with Muslim women, as I m sure she could have found a modest Muslim woman or two While I agree with the basic point the author is making, I didn t like this book for two reasons The first and biggest reason is that the author spends so much time going into the graphic details of the sexual problems in our society that as a modest, chaste good girl I felt uncomfortable reading it I often didn t even understand the slang and terminology she was using, and found the book overall to be discouraging Too much talk about the problem and not enough about the good alternative While I agree with the basic point the author is making, I didn t like this book for two reasons The first and biggest reason is that the author spends so much time going into the graphic details of the sexual problems in our society that as a modest, chaste good girl I felt uncomfortable reading it I often didn t even understand the slang and terminology she was using, and found the book overall to be discouraging Too much talk about the problem and not enough about the good alternative.The second reason is that while I enjoyed her wittiness and sense of humor, the book would have made it s point better if it wasn t written in such an argumentative fashion It felt disorganized and like she was repeating the same argument over and over again.I did not, in fact, read the entire book I first started skimming past the disturbing accounts of what sexuality in America has become, then found myself skipping to the next chapter when I got tired of each over argued point Then, when I set the book down to go to bed after having looked at most of the book, found I didn t have any desire to pick it back up again in the morning.I also found much of what she presents as a new idea basically that being good helps us be happier to be common sense That may be because I grew up with strong values and religious beliefs that already led me to the path of goodness and happiness In the end, the only good this book did for me was to make me evengrateful for that upbringing which taught me the way to live and be happy Apparently most of our children are growing up without that kind of direction and are unhappy as a result of it