This is so helpful and thoughtful Still reading it, but you can dip in and out of it It really makes you think about where your own behaviour and thoughts come from, and how to sort important issues out. Amazing read and excellent delivery too This woman is such an inspiration and every parent should get their hands on this book A revelation I always knew that there must be a better way of raising a great child and a person, other than through hitting, yelling, disciplining, punishing, all those necessary evils I think this is the best thing I have found in my whole life because it s going to help me raise peaceful and happy kids Thank you from my heart dr Laura Markhan Can t wait to read it and see if it helps. Most parenting books focus on changing a child s behaviour, but the truth is that children only change when their relationship with their parents changes In Calm Parents, Happy Kids, Dr Laura Markham introduces an approach to parenting that eliminates threats, power struggles and manipulation, in favour of setting limits with empathy and communication Bringing together the latest research in brain development with a focus on emotional awareness for both parents and children , it will appeal to all parents who don t want to force their children into compliance and lose their temper, but want to keep calm and help their children want to behave I found this book really helpful in managing my 2yr old s temper tantrums and managing my reactions to them Must buy for any parent struggling with the terrible two s Great. this book has really helped me to keep calm when my child is pushing my buttons a brilliant book for those adults who want to keep calm when their child is having a melt down Is this book for you Let me state some questions, each one a little harder than the last Is your child under the age of 6 If yes, then this book will probably work, if older, I d really suggest a book for older kids Are you at your wits end with the yelling, fighting at every turn and constant nagging to get simple things done with your child If yes, then maybe this book IS for you Have you noticed your current parenting methods are simply not working If yes, then possibly, this book is for you Lastly, the hardest question of all, are you willing to admit that you are most likely the biggest part of the problem with your child s misbehavior If you can answer this question yes, then this book WILL work for you But it does require you to dig deep and examine your own past, your own feelings, and your own problems and accept and work to fix them before your child will ever respond to these practices in the book.A little background on us I have been struggling with my 2 year old daughter She is very high needs, she is very stubborn and extremely intelligent Add her constantly not feeling well from ear infections and eventually a perforated ear drum from tube malfunction, she was just rotten A few months ago we were headed down an awful road Tantrums every night, timeouts, me frustrated and angry and feeling like I ve been through a war every night after she finally went to sleep I cried everyday, I loved her but nothing was working, I didn t want to be THAT parent that broke her spirit but she wasn t listening to anything I said, she was getting violent, throwing things, hitting, just all around angry I started reading this book out of sheer desperation, I was lost and felt completely alone and the ultimate failure In the few weeks I ve started the practices in this book, both Lise and I have done a 180 The tantrums are few and far between, and when they are there, they are short and very manageable Lise has become affectionate with both her daddy and I She freely gives kisses and hugs when before she refused any affection She listens to what I say, she has started playing by herself and not demanding my attention 24 7 It s crazy and wonderful, I understand her feelings better and she s getting better at expressing whats going on and even , handling her emotions and working through them herself I just can t say enough, time outs, spanking all that is completely gone in our house Even the word NO is very rarely used Lise has started understanding and respecting our limits with little to no toddler stubbornness She wants to make us happy and I can literally see the confidence building in her Things aren t perfect, but they are absolutely better.At first reading this book, I was like um, no, there is no way that this could work My wild child will walk all over me when I start this so called love parenting But as I mentioned, I was desperate I didn t want to spank her, I didn t want to drag her kicking and screaming to timeout, I didn t want to isolate her or be constantly telling her no she can t do that, no she can t do this, no, no, no I knew deep down what I was doing wasn t right regardless of what family members suggested based on their experiences They told me to come down hard on her now or she will only get worse I was angry, she was angry, we both had no idea what to expect from each other that day, so we both went into the day guarded and short tempered I knew I loved her dearly, and I tried my best to try the old school parenting practices with her but it was only making her worse Yes, she listened most of the time based on threats when we were out in public or at someones house, but I now know that was only because I was humiliating her and would ve done it further by spanking her or forcing timeout in front of people she simply wanted to interact with I know what you are thinking, she is only 2, 2 year olds don t think on that level, but mine does I can t speak for yours Once I d bring her home, the old school practices would break down, and I would be forced to yell, time out, and spank Tantrums would be hours long, kicking, screaming screaming on both of our parts and hitting The child lived in time out It simply wasn t working I was desperate for any alternative, and i thought, well, she is already unmanageable, what could this doSo I started doing little things as I read them in the book Before I was even done, I saw changes in her Dramatic changes I m currently on my second round reading it She wants to listen to us, yes she is a toddler, but often with a simple compromise, or a promise that is ALWAYS kept on my part to come back when time allows for whatever activity she is involved in, we can get through just about anything without screaming, or acting like a wild child We understand each other so much better, we talk, we laugh, we have a blast togetherI look forward to continuing this peaceful approach for the rest of her life I m sure there will be breakdowns, yelling, but I m confident that we can work through just about anything together. It s a little preachy and you need to take everything it says with a grain of salt It mentions many studies done however does not list them specifically so you wonder where they really got their data from However there are elements of the book which do make a lot of sense and provides a different perspective to parenting and how your child behaves Harsh discipline is only one way to go about it and it s interesting to read about alternatives Ultimately as parent you need to decide what kind of parent you want to be and how to get the best results I don t believe there is ever only ONE way to do things and there are different solutions that work for different families Just keep an open mind and be willing to try anything.I started reading this book when I had been on holiday and my 2 year old was acting up a lot, and my sister in law who was very well meaning put my son in timeout with my consent I had never administered that kind of punishment before and was interested in seeing how she did it as she s a mother of 3 generally well behaved kids However, after doing it a few times while on holiday and then at home, I got the growing sense that a it wasn t working and b it felt wrong My son looked at me differently, he ran to daddy instead of me and he was acting out MORE I decided punishment might be something we do but not at this age and not in this manner.Since reading the book I ve stopped yelling at my son and spent a lot 1 on 1 concentrated time with him on a daily basis I have always been a mom who loves to show physical affection to my son but I wasn t always willing to play with him, preferring to leave that to his dad Since I started spending time focusing just on him, I ve noticed his behavior has MARKEDLY improved There s definitely something to the philosophies in the book which can help.