The Sunday Times Bestseller A beautiful book Giovanna Fletcher Will stay with you long after you have put it down Jools Oliver Bold, compelling will blow you away Marina Fogle Heartbreaking such an important read Sarah Turner The Unmumsy MumWhat do you do when the unthinkable happens Elle Wright had an admittedly easy pregnancy, and in Mayshe and her husband welcomed their son, Teddy, into the world Just a few hours later, they woke to find him cold and unresponsive, and the happiest day of Elle s life had turned into every parent s worst nightmare Three days after delivering him into the world, she sat with Teddy as he took his last breaths, and tucked him in for the final time Ask Me His Name is a moving account of Elle s pregnancy, Teddy s life, and what happens when a mother leaves hospital with empty arms In the UK,inpregnancies end in loss, but conversations about the heartbreakingly frequent experience are few and far between In this honest and hopeful exploration of mothering, Elle shows us how she navigated a parenthood no one had prepared her forA portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to Tommy s charity Reg

12 thoughts on “Ask Me His Name: Learning to live and laugh again after the loss of my baby

  1. Bears Bears says:

    After losing one of the twins 4 years ago, I ve been keen to understand what causes infant loss prior, during, shortly after birth UK has one of the highest rates of infant mortality in Europe.Also, I ve looked for words to give to those who want to speak to you after the loss of a baby Personally, I can t find them in me to pass on Neither, it seems, can Elle.This is not meant to be a novel so the amaterurish writing style, which made reading this book quite annoying because it just didn t have a flow, can just about be understood.Elle s judgement of others is quite vulgar People don t know what to say, which is why they do it any way they can, sometimes saying nothing at all People may have experienced a loss themselves in the past miscarriage, loss of a relative, loss of a baby and don t want to go there, some prefer to be left alone during their grief as Elle herself points out so choose to give that space to the person going through hell Elle, however, judges people if they say something or nothing, damned if you do, damned if you don t I thought the point of the book was to make others understand what to say Apart for Teddy s cause of death which only is given as a sentence, possibly two if you count the bit where she says they parents were tested How prevalent are these outcomes How to spot the signs Etc., etc Nothing You d think that since the small birth weight is mentioned, she d go back and talk about that, to warn other expectant mothers who maybe worried, to keep an eye or ask their medical team to on the baby s growth etc etc Nothing.A LOT about how happy she is watching fundraising amount going up on the JustGiving page, which repeats in different sections, same thing written in other words Not any tips given on how to do it befitting your circumstances, that s IF you feel you d like to do it sorry, if you ve a normal job and no social media presence, you re a nobody, it seems.Losing a child or anyone isn t something that you ever forget or really overcome, but you do move on The the person missing from your life becomes a part of it in other ways Of course you think about them.Elle has made her grief, her loss into her life purpose I m not sure it s the best advice to give to recently berieved parents.Of course the loss is devastating, it changes you and your reality To say it s horrible would be an understatement My twins were a result of IVF after 4 previous attempts and miscarriages Grief hits you so bad that you don t want to open your eyes in the morning.For me it took a just over a year to heal towards becoming less normal, if I can use that word The getting there process was horrendous, from the initial shock to the system, to zombie like existence, to withdrawal, severe anxiety attacks It was a case of putting one step in front of the other after some period of numb standstill Grief is very consuming It s mind altering I get that.However, becoming a version of a forever grieving queen Victoria who does yoga is not what I d have wanted to be now, nor advise others to aim to become trapped in grief forever.

  2. Megan Dawson Megan Dawson says:

    I ve been following Elle on social media for a while and was a bit nervous about reading the book incase it was too sad But it is truely an amazing book I did cry, I wanted to give her and her family a hug, but I also smiled and sometimes even laughed It s a truly amazing book and I feel honoured to have read all about Teddy s life and amazing legacy This woman is incredible and all she has done is admirable.For anyone who wants to read a good book then this is for you And for anyone who has suffered loss, this is also for you It s a book that everyone can love and relate to in some way Thankyou Elle for sharing your story

  3. Laura Bull Laura Bull says:

    Having lost my son at 5 days old I couldn t wait for this book to be released It is honestly written and I can relate to so much of what Elle has been through What a truly inspirational person she is and what a wonderful Mother she is too For anyone who has suffered the loss of the most precious gift in the World, as I have, this book is for you It is for those who know someone who has gone through this loss too, I will be passing this onto my mum and friends to read so they can gain a better understanding of what baby loss is and how best to support in the future A must read, thank you Elle for this.

  4. Ellie B Ellie B says:

    Elle s story, while heartbreaking is also inspiring in how she talks about Teddy Whatever I write will not do it the justice it deserves She shines a light in even the darkest of moments and not only talks to those who have also experienced loss but those of us trying to support others through loss It s eye opening in a positive way and so inspiring that she is using her experience of motherhood to encourage conversations that would otherwise be avoided While it is heartbreaking to read there are also lots of light moments and positivity Don t shy away from reading about Elle and Teddy.

  5. Emily Emily says:

    I have followed Elle on her journey for over a year and a half and remember reading her blog about her experience of losing Teddy It was just one of those things that people tend to not to speak about, and as somebody who is not a mum or has not experienced anything similar in my wider circle of family and friends, was like opening doors into a completely different world Elle does a fantastic job in sharing her story and how Teddy had lived.The rawness of emotion and fragility of grief is evident throughout the book and talking about those diffcult subjects can actually help but avoiding those conversations can be worse.I am so glad to have read this book and I am proud to know Teddy s story I will no doubt share this book and speak about baby loss openly I have learnt a great deal and hope to be able to support someone better who is going through the grief of losing their child Wishing you all the best Elle family xxx

  6. soz2011 soz2011 says:

    I loved the book I read it within two days and couldn t put it down I have followed Elle on Instagram for a while and have read her blog so wanted to learn about her and Teddy The book has been written so articulately and the love for Teddy is shown throughout the book by Elle and her amazing family and friends I love the fact that Elle reiterates the fact that we need to talk about those we have lost, as so often that doesn t happen and it causes a lot of pain.We have been through the loss of a father and baby through IVF so a lot of what Elle talked about resonated with me I love the fact that she is so positive and whoever reads the book will be filled with hope She gives some good advice which has stayed with me This book has really helped me and has made me reflect on our loss and the grief that comes with that I also liked the self help part at the end which gave some really useful information.I would highly recommend the book to anyone those who have been through similar experiences or those who haven t as a way of gaining some understanding as people really don t get it until it happens to them I loved the book and want to thank Elle for sharing her experiences and her amazing love for little Teddy x

  7. RT RT says:

    Elle writes so beautifully as she tells this tale of her son Teddy I couldn t put it down and I ll be recommending it to everyone Gives an understanding of the loss of a child Personally I have not lost a child however I m studying nursing and I think it has given me a broader understanding of child loss so I can be a better nurse to new mums, families, and everyone So much love to you, Elle, and Teddy

  8. Customer Customer says:

    So touching If you or anyone you know is grieving a lost child, definitely pick this book up You won t regret it Love the fact that by purchasing it you contribute to a good cause.

  9. abby wojtas abby wojtas says:

    It was like she was speaking my thoughts Amazing book Love to her Teddy.

  10. Mogulmommy Mogulmommy says:

    Heart breaking Our baby died of the same thing If the author reads reviews I wish her well, and I you ever want to talk

  11. Steph Steph says:

    Bought this shortly after my son died and read it immediately Elle does a great job conveying the journey of child loss and grief Great read, very relatable.

  12. Fanny Talagrand Fanny Talagrand says:

    Beautiful and heartbreaking in many places, this books needs to be read True rendition of hope and strength and what can help when tragedy strikes